Your phone lights up with a number you don’t know. Your heart jumps. You stare at it until it stops ringing. Then you wait for the voicemail, so you can figure out what they wanted before calling back. Maybe.
Or maybe you have a call on your to-do list that you’ve been putting off for three days.
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. Phone anxiety at work is very common, especially now that so much of our work happens by text and chat.
The good news? Phone call anxiety is very fixable. This guide explains why phone calls feel so stressful and gives you 15 practical fixes you can start using today.
What Is Phone Anxiety?
Phone anxiety is the stress, worry, or fear of phone calls that some people feel when making phone calls or answering the phone. You may also hear it called telephobia or phone phobia.
It can range from mild nerves before business calls like a client call to a strong urge to avoid calls completely.
How Common Is It?
Very common, especially among younger workers. Here’s what recent surveys show, as reported by The Irish Times (The Irish Times, 2024):
- A 2023 Sky Mobile survey found that 26% of Gen Z actively ignore phone calls.
- An Open Market study found that 75% of millennials prefer texting over talking on the phone.
But phone anxiety isn’t just a young person’s problem. People of every age can feel anxious about phone calls, especially at work where the stakes feel higher.
Why Phone Calls Feel So Stressful
No Visual Cues
On a call, you can’t see the other person. You miss their facial expressions and body language. Alison Papadakis, a psychologist at Johns Hopkins University, explains that without these cues, silence on a call can feel “deadly,” and our brains fill the gap with negative thoughts (BBC Science Focus).
It Happens in Real Time
A text or email lets you think, edit, and send when you’re ready. A call happens in real time. There’s no time to think. That pressure can feel intense (BBC Science Focus).
Fear of Judgment
Many people worry about sounding awkward, stumbling over words, or saying something wrong. Fear of judgment and fear of saying the wrong thing are big drivers of phone anxiety.
Being Put on the Spot
Unexpected calls can feel like an ambush. You don’t know who it is or what they want. Being put on the spot without warning can lead to your mind going blank.
We’re Just Out of Practice
Interestingly, Duncan Brumby, a researcher at University College London, found that people rarely hit “decline” on a call. Instead, they tend to let it ring out (The Irish Times, 2024). Avoiding calls quietly has become a habit for many of us.
Many of us now text instead or email instead of calling. When you rarely make calls, they start to feel strange and scary. Like any skill, phone skills get rusty without practice.
It Can Be Part of Social Anxiety
For some people, phone anxiety is part of social anxiety. A psychotherapist quoted in The Irish Times noted that phone anxiety can be “a piece of the puzzle” in broader anxiety (The Irish Times, 2024).
What Phone Anxiety Feels Like
When the phone rings or you need to make a call, a part of your brain called the amygdala may sound an alarm. This sets off your stress response, also called fight or flight. Your body releases adrenaline and cortisol. Your nervous system gets ready for danger.
You might notice:
- A racing heart when you hear a ringing phone
- Sweaty palms
- A shaky voice
- Dry mouth
- Dread before work calls
- Overthinking what you’ll say
- Replaying the call afterward
- Negative thoughts like “I sounded so dumb”
Many people also fall into procrastination and avoidance. They put off calls for hours or days. But avoidance usually makes anxiety stronger over time.
Before the Call: Prepare to Feel Calm
1. Write Bullet Points, Not a Full Script
Before a call, jot down a few bullet points or talking points. What’s the goal of the call? What do you need to ask? What do you need to share?
Psychologist Alison Papadakis suggests short notes rather than a full script, so you don’t sound stiff (BBC Science Focus).
For tricky calls, a simple call script for the opening line can help:
“Hi, this is [name] from [company]. I’m calling about [topic]. Do you have a few minutes?”
2. Prepare for Common Questions
Think about what the other person might ask. Prepare short answers. If you don’t know something, plan to say, “Let me check and call back this afternoon.”
3. Practice With a Friend
Practice a tricky call with a friend or coworker. Role-play both sides. When you rehearse out loud, the real call feels more familiar.
4. Schedule Calls
Many people find it easier when calls are planned. Use your calendar to schedule calls ahead of time instead of calling out of the blue. Then both of you are ready.
5. Batch Calls Together
If you have several calls, batch calls into one time block. Get them done in a row. Once you’re “in the zone,” each call feels easier.
6. Make the Call First Thing
The longer you wait, the bigger the dread grows. Try to make the call first thing in the morning, before your anxiety has time to build. Start your Monday with your hardest call, and the rest of the week will feel lighter.
7. Set Up Your Space
Find a quiet space with no distractions. Use a headset or headphones so your hands are free for notes. If you’re in an office, a small meeting room can help.
During the Call: Stay Calm and Clear
8. Take a Deep Breath First
Before you dial or answer, take a slow deep breath. Try a physiological sigh: breathe in through your nose, add a second short breath on top, then let it all out slowly.
Or try box breathing, a method used by the Navy SEALs: breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. These breathing exercises help calm your racing heart. A 2023 Stanford University study found that short daily breathing practices helped lift mood and calm the body (Balban et al., 2023). See our box breathing guide.
9. Stand Up and Smile
Stand up while you talk. Good posture helps your voice sound stronger and more confident.
And smile, even though they can’t see you. Amy Drahota of the University of Portsmouth found that listeners can actually hear a smile in someone’s voice (BBC Science Focus).
10. Speak Slowly and Pause
Anxiety speeds you up. Speak slowly on purpose. If you need a moment, it’s okay to pause. An awkward silence feels much longer to you than it does to the other person. If nerves spike, try grounding: press your feet into the floor and notice the feel of the desk under your hand.
11. Repeat Back What You Hear
When someone shares details, repeat back or summarize what they said. For example: “Just to make sure I have it right, you need the report by Thursday?”
Mary Jane Copps, a phone skills coach known as “The Phone Lady,” suggests this as a simple way to stay in control of a call (BBC Science Focus).
12. It’s Okay to Ask for Time
If you’re caught off guard, you can ask for a moment: “Let me pull that up. One second.” Or offer to follow up: “Let me check on that and call you back in an hour.”
After the Call: Let It Go
13. Send a Quick Follow-Up
A short follow-up email after the call confirms what you agreed on. It also eases worry that you forgot something.
14. Stop Replaying the Call
It’s tempting to replay every word. Remind yourself of the spotlight effect. Research by Thomas Gilovich at Cornell University shows that we think people notice our slip-ups far more than they actually do (BBC Science Focus).
Yale University researchers have also found a liking gap: after a conversation, people tend to underestimate how much the other person liked them (BBC Science Focus). In other words, the call probably went better than you think.
Be kind to yourself. Self-compassion goes a long way. Use positive self-talk to reframe the call: swap “That was a disaster” for “I got the information I needed.”
Build Confidence Over Time
15. Start Small and Build Up
The best long-term fix for phone anxiety is gentle exposure. Start with short calls that feel easy, like calling a friend instead of texting them. Then work up to harder calls.
BBC Science Focus suggests you build up slowly, starting with calls as short as 30 seconds and making them longer over time (BBC Science Focus). Each call teaches your brain that phone calls are safe.
Take small steps:
- Call a doctor’s office to book an appointment instead of using the app.
- Answer one call from a coworker instead of letting it go to voicemail.
- Make one work call each day.
Paula Higgins, a trainer quoted in The Irish Times, says phone skills “can be learned by everybody” (The Irish Times, 2024).
Tips for Specific Types of Work Calls
Cold Calls and Sales Calls
Cold calls and sales calls are hard for almost everyone. Have a clear opening line and a few questions ready. Expect some “no’s.” They’re about timing, not about you.
Client and Customer Calls
Client calls and customer calls can feel high stakes. Prepare notes, listen closely, and repeat back key points. Good customer service is more about listening than talking.
Conference Calls
On a conference call, it can be hard to know when to speak. Say your name before you talk. Keep your comments short. A video call on Zoom or Microsoft Teams can feel easier for some people, since you can see faces.
Calls With Your Boss
A call from your manager or boss can feel scary, especially if it’s unexpected. Remember that most calls are routine. If you’re worried, ask at the start: “Is everything okay? What’s this about?”
Calls From Recruiters
If a recruiter calls about a job, you can ask to schedule a better time if you’re not ready. Then prepare like you would for an interview. See how to calm your nerves before a job interview.
Leaving a Voicemail
To leave a voicemail, keep it short: your name, why you’re calling, and your number. Say your number twice, slowly.
Simple Phone Etiquette That Builds Confidence
Good phone etiquette helps you feel more in control:
- Answer with your name: “This is Jordan.”
- Say why you’re calling in the first 10 seconds.
- End clearly: “Thanks so much. I’ll send that email today.”
These communication skills get easier with practice.
Managing Unexpected Calls
Use Caller ID
Check caller ID before you answer. If you’re not ready, it’s okay to let it go to voicemail and call back within an hour. That’s normal in most workplaces.
Turn Down the Ringer
A loud ringtone can spike your stress. Lower the volume or set your smartphone to vibrate. On an iPhone or Android, you can also use silent mode or “focus” settings during deep work.
Agree on Call Norms With Your Team
In remote work and hybrid work, many teams use Slack for quick questions. Agree with your coworkers on when to call versus message. For example, ask people to send a quick message before calling. This takes the surprise out of calls.
When Phone Anxiety Is Something More
Many people get nervous about calls now and then. But if phone anxiety is hurting your work, or you feel very anxious in many social situations, it could be social anxiety disorder.
The National Institute of Mental Health reports that about 7.1% of U.S. adults had social anxiety disorder in the past year (National Institute of Mental Health).
A therapist or psychologist can help. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the best-studied treatments for social anxiety. It often includes gentle exposure, like the small steps above. Your doctor is also a good place to start. The Mayo Clinic has more on how social anxiety is treated (Mayo Clinic).
Getting professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Support is widely available across the United States.
Quick Checklist: Calm Before Any Work Call
Before:
- Write three bullet points
- Pick a quiet space
- Take one slow, deep breath
During:
- Stand up and smile
- Speak slowly
- Repeat back key details
After:
- Send a quick follow-up email
- Let it go
The Bottom Line
Phone anxiety at work is common, and it makes sense. Calls happen in real time, with no visual cues and no chance to edit. But you can get better at them, just like any other skill.
Prepare a few bullet points, take a deep breath, stand up and smile, and speak slowly. Start with easy calls and build from there. Over time, the phone will feel much less scary.
These coping strategies can help with other kinds of anxiety at work and everyday work stress, too. Whether you’re calling clients, customers, vendors, or the front-desk receptionist, a little practice builds real confidence. For more, read how to calm anxiety before a meeting and our complete guide to workplace stress.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I get anxious about phone calls at work? Phone calls happen in real time, with no visual cues and no time to plan your words. Many people also fear being judged or put on the spot.
Is phone anxiety common? Yes, especially among younger workers. One survey found that 26% of Gen Z actively ignore phone calls, and another found that 75% of millennials prefer texting.
How can I get over phone anxiety? Start small with short, easy calls, and build up over time. Write bullet points before calls, take a deep breath, and speak slowly.
What should I say when I answer a work call? Answer with a friendly greeting and your name, like “Hi, this is Jordan.” Then listen and take notes.
Is phone anxiety a sign of social anxiety disorder? It can be, especially if you feel very anxious in many social situations. If phone anxiety is hurting your work or life, talk to a doctor or therapist.
Sources
- Balban, M. Y., Neri, E., Kogon, M. M., et al. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine, 4(1), 100895. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9873947/
- BBC Science Focus. Phone call anxiety: Simple ways to overcome your telephobia, according to psychology. https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/telephobia
- Mayo Clinic Staff. Social anxiety disorder (social phobia). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/social-anxiety-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353561
- National Institute of Mental Health. Social anxiety disorder (statistics). https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/social-anxiety-disorder
- The Irish Times. (2024, February 17). “I would never call someone without messaging first”: Why younger people don’t make phone calls. https://www.irishtimes.com/life-style/2024/02/17/phone-phobia-i-get-such-a-shock-when-someone-rings-me-out-of-the-blue/
